House and Home

Today's Good Morning Girls scripture really spoke to me. Although I have never actually gone outside my home and started tearing pieces off the house, I have found myself tearing down my home in other ways.

Kurt and I had a very shaky marriage for a very long time. Separation did us a lot of good, but our hearts still have a lot of healing to do. As much as I would love to point the finger at my husband, I admit my own fault in MOST of our current home stress. I built my house- created a loving home by choosing my eternal companion, and bringing children to this earth. I built my home with love and good choices. I took my house and made it a home full of appropriate media content, safe and comfortable furnishings, and surrounded by loving friends. I picked my house- I picked the actual location in which we reside, and I picked the people that live within these walls. I built my house.

However... in heated anger, annoyance, or just plain irritation I catch myself making remarks that hurt my husband and children- and therefore tear down parts of my home. By not giving my marriage everything that I possibly can, I tear down my home. By not giving my children everything I can, I tear down my home. By not allowing myself to be an instrument in the hands of God- and do His will, His way, I tear down my home.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." — C.S. Lewis

As I carry this scripture in my heart, I hope to remember that I need to BUILD my home, and never foolishly tear it down. And if I work hard, and endure to the end, I will be able to enjoy the palace that awaits me and my family =)