Prepared?

This is an embarrassing story, but I think it needs to be told. Today was our Stake Conference. We knew it was the conference, and we were prepared to attend. We were excited, set the alarm, and thought we were ready. However, as we woke up and we started getting ready, we realized that we did not know which church building (the building, address, or even Stake name) we were supposed to attend! Could we call someone? No, the few numbers that we have were for members who would most likely be in meetings. Could we look online? We could if we knew how to use that particular feature on the LDS.org site. Could we just drive around and magically find it? This is not Utah, so our chances of randomly running into the correct building on time would be low... So much for being "prepared" for the conference!

This got me thinking and it made me wonder all of the things that we could have done differently. Our wonderful Bishop was here on Tuesday, and I had my amazing Visiting Teacher here on Wednesday. Couldn't I have asked one of them? We have two sets of neighbors who are also in our Ward, couldn't we have talked to them? Why did we wait for the last minute to get our information? We had falsely allowed ourselves to believe we were prepared when we were not prepared at all. What other things do we incorrectly believe we are prepared for?

The whole situation made me think of the parable of the virgins, in Matthew 25:


 ¹ “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. ² Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. ³ Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, ⁴ but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. ⁵But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.
⁶ “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming;^[a] go out to meet him!’ ⁷ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. ⁸ And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ ⁹ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ ¹⁰ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut. 
¹¹ “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ ¹² But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ 
¹³ “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour^[b] in which the Son of Man is coming.


Would I be a virgin who had thought ahead and brought her oil? Would I be a virgin who remembered her lamp at all? Would I be a virgin who would be ready the moment I was called? I would love to answer yes, and before today I think I may have been able to unknowingly lie to myself and believe I would be a prepared woman, but now I see the truth: I have a lot of work to do.

As soon as we bring home our babies, we mothers have to be prepared. We have baby Tylenol, diapers, wipes, and a change of clothing (or two!) everywhere we go. As our children get older we still keep snacks in our purses and Kleenex in the car. And none of us (hopefully!) would dream of starting a long road trip without fueling the vehicles first! But as nice as these preparations are, they are purely temporal.

Each of us has things we need to plan and prepare for. I am very thankful that my hats are as a student, wife, mother, homemaker, and homeschooler- each of these roles requires preparation and forethought. For many women there are additional preparations that need to be made: family gatherings, community service, food storage and emergency preparedness, carpools, vacations, school events, church callings, employment, budgets and payments, holidays, etc. And those are just the things I can name without taking time and brainstorming! We are all very busy!!!

I have found that daily scripture study, personal prayer, and family prayer all help keep the spirituality on my list of top priorities. However, there are so many Earthly things that we have to plan and prepare for, it is often easy to allow spiritual preparation to fall on the back-burner. Like the foolish virgins, who allowed their  temporal needs to come first (they slept instead of getting their oil), it is easy to find ourselves out of time when we are put to the test. So, I hope that as I learn from today's experience, I will remember that I need to fill my lamp before it is too late- and next time I will get to where I need to be on time. Knowing that "you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming," should be a very large wake up call- we need to be prepared today, right now!

How can we prepare ourselves and increase our spirituality? Make it a habit!

Start with:

• Family Prayer
• Personal Prayer
• Daily Scripture Study
• Church Attendance
• Regular Family Home Evening

I have had years of struggle with making daily scripture study a habit, and I found that joining a scripture study group really helped me (I am a Good Morning Girl, a nondenominational scripture study group). I also bought a large set of "family" scriptures that have photographs, illustrations, and definitions, and we read the family scriptures with the children. These were steps that I had to take in order to improve my performance in a very weak area of my spiritual progress. And as I have progressed in one area, I can move to another. 

This is all a journey, but if we press on joyfully, and put God first, our journey will have deeper meaning and eternal purpose. I am thankful I was able to share one of my many rough areas with you, and if you have any suggestions, ideas, or comments please feel free to share!

Sabbath Rest

Every Saturday night, when the house is in order and the children are asleep, I light a candle. I do not light the candle until my schoolwork is completed for the week. I do not light the candle until the house is clean enough for me to tolerate. I get my house and my work in order, and then I light that little candle. I started doing this about three weeks ago, and it has really changed my life.

How could lighting a little candle change a life? You may ask. Allow me to elaborate!

Sundays have been difficult for a long time. I don't exactly remember when, but it feels like forever. Just the word, "Sunday" would make me secretly cringe, and I had no idea why. Years ago, when I first joined my church, Sunday was my favorite day! I would literally count down until Sunday- I adored going to Church so much! However, after Kurt and I got married and had kids, I found myself so exhausted and in need of... something... and Sundays became my least favorite day ever. Sundays were the days where "I can't get anything done!" because I didn't want to break the commandment to obey the Sabbath. My Sunday funk did not always exist. It varied from location to location, and season to season. But overall, I would say Sundays were not a good day for me. After Sunday came dreaded Monday, a day where I would literally slave over all the work that had gone undone on Sunday. I was doing this so wrong! I was seriously stressing out over the work I was supposed to be resting from! Wrong idea!

And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath. - Mark 2:27

This was the first scripture that I pondered. It felt so backward to me. I had become a pretty nasty person on Sundays and I didn't like it. I didn't like how I felt, or how I acted. This scripture confused me so much... but it stayed in my heart. Over the next few weeks I pondered it thoughtfully and prayerfully. I journaled, discussed, and poured out my heart in prayer. Slowly, precept upon precept, I began to learn about the purpose of rest on the Sabbath, and I could FEEL it change our entire home.

I found a book called Sabbath- FindingRest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives. The book was actually written for non-religious people and religious people of any practice, and examines various religious beliefs and philosophies dealing with the concept of a "day of rest." The book discussed the Sabbath, from Creation through Constantine, through to modern day. I did not pick up this book for help with my Sunday problem- the book was given to me years ago and I needed some mindless reading and this happened to be closest to the end of my bedroom's bookshelf. The book uses scripture references, thoughtful quotes, and borrows traditions from many religions- all to demonstrate the need for "rest" in our lives. I had no idea that this book would lead me to search my scriptures more, and find peace on Sunday, but I am thankful for it!!!

One of the first things that the book suggests is "Practice: Lighting Sabbath Candles" below is a small section.

The traditional Jewish Sabbath begins at sundown, the Christian Sabbath with morning worship. In both, Sabbath time begins with the lighting of candles. Those who celebrate Sabbath find that in this moment, the stopping truly begins. They take a few breaths, allow the mind to quiet, and the quality of the day begins to shift. Irene says she can feel the tension leave her body as the wick takes the flame. Kath says she often weeps, so great is her relief that the time for rest has come. This is the beginning of sacred time.

Even Sara, who does not celebrate Sabbath at all, tells me that when she has prepared dinner for her family and is ready to eat, she is especially fond of the moment she lights the candles. It is, she says, a kind of silent grace, a ritual beginning of family time.

WILL

Three generations back

my family had only

to light a candle

and the world parted.

Today, Friday afternoon,

I disconnect clocks and phones.

When night fills my house

with passages,

I begin saving

my life.

- Marcia Falk

Knowing I needed to do SOMETHING, I started small. I was already reading, praying, and journaling- what harm could lighting a candle do? I thought about when to light it, and I decided to light it Saturday night. I had promised myself that I would do ZERO schoolwork on Sundays- but I cannot tell you how often I found myself wide awake at 4am (because, it was still sort of "Saturday night" right???). No more! I decided my work needed to end before midnight- nothing was ever due Sundays anyway. So- by midnight, I have my house in order and my schoolwork finished, and I light my little candle. I light it Saturday night, and I literally breathe in the beautiful rest. I relax, I read, and ponder, I pray. I love it. I blow the candle out Saturday before bed, and I light it again on Sunday morning, and whenever we are in the house on that beautiful Sabbath day, the candle is lit.

I thought the candle might help me, but what I didn't realize was how much the candle would change my family. When my children see that candle, they know there is a different feeling in the house. We are all a bit better- more courteous, more quiet. Sundays are no longer the chaotic zoo they once were, they are peaceful, calm, and beautiful. I NOW fully understand why the Sabbath was created for man. We need the rest!

**Candle + music by Jenny Oaks Baker = instant peace in our home!