Today's Trial is Tomorrow's Testimony

I woke at 4am. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. I cuddled with my husband for a bit and then went downstairs to be alone with my scriptures.

I know I am blessed. I know it. I have a wonderful life, and we are merely experiencing a setback. But still, there is internal nagging. There is creeping fear. There is shaky uncertainty. There is confusion.

As I open my scriptures, 1 Corinthians 14:33 reminds me,

...God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...


So I wait.

I will wait, I will read, I will ponder, I will pray. And just as Psalm 121 suggests,

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.


This is temporary. From an eternal prospective, this trail does not matter at all. What does matter, however, is how we will handle this trial.

I need to stop the mental nagging. I need to stop the fear. I need to block the uncertainty and confusion. I need to turn to Christ and feel His grace and peace. With Him I will find rest.

After reading my scriptures I turned to one of my favorite uplifting websites: Women Living Well. It was there I found this:

WHY ME:

Have you ever laid in bed awake at night and wondered – Why me? I don’t understand these circumstances God? Have you ever felt like a failure – like the rest of the world has it figured out and you are the only one who just can’t seem to pull it together? Your will and determination just simply aren’t enough? Your 2 year old won’t let you buckle them in the car, your 3 year old bites, your four year old hits, your 10 year old struggles with reading, your teenager is defiant, or your grown child is making poor decisions and you sit there helpless.

Ecclesiastes 8:14 says “There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth; righteous men who get what the wicked deserve, and wicked men who get what the righteous deserve.”

Have you ever seen a mom of little ones dying of cancer, a young child’s life snuffed out in a car accident, a noble man losing his job while a wicked man succeeds. Do you look around and ask what’s up with this lopsided world? It doesn’t make sense?

Solomon, the wisest man on earth admits in Ecclesiastes 8:16 and 17 there are some things we will never understand on this side of heaven. He says “When I applied my mind to know wisdom and to observe man’s labor on earth – his eyes not seeing sleep day or night – then I saw all that God has done. NO one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.

No amount of lost sleep can help us comprehend what God is doing. Though we can put entire libraries on a tiny micro-chip – our human minds will never be able to solve the mysteries of God’s works. So what do we do?

“Cast all your anxious thoughts on him because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)

See the full blog post here.

I will cast my anxiety and follow a simple plan:

1) I will support my husband by helping him remember how wonderful he is.
2) I will do my job as homemaker, wife, and homeschooler. I will freelance write when I can, but remember  
           my job is first and foremost to be my family's greatest earthly helper.
3) I will find beauty in life, every day, and I will make it a priority to help my family see that beauty as well.
4) Each day I will have *something* fun or enjoyable planned for us to do together. Dollar movies, trips to
            the park, picnics, an afternoon at the pool- something to help remind all of us that life is fun and
            enjoyable. We should embrace this extra time together that we have been given, and each day I will
            come up with small ways of doing that.
5) I will keep my faith, and become stronger than ever. I will continue to thank God for all He has given us.

Making your home a haven!

There are so many wonderful things about living in an area with four perfect seasons. I have always especially been fond of the colder seasons- I am one of those nutty sweater people who would rather wear five layers and sip hot cocoa than wear a tee shirt and Capri pants. (Favorite sweater seen below- click the picture for info. My friend Sara makes them by hand!!!)

Last year, right around this time, I accepted a "Fall Challenge." I had never done a challenge online before, and the thought of it was pretty neat. All I had to do was challenge myself to follow through on the suggestions offered by Courtney, over at Women Living Well. I can remember last year- it was very chaotic and stressful. I found so much comfort in the suggestions that were offered in the challenge. The simple, inexpensive, and blissful suggestions really brightened a very dark time of our lives.

The first week of October: Buy a very large candle, and light it every day. Each time the light catches your eye, say a prayer for peace in your home. This was amazing. That little light quite literally got us through some of the darkest days of the year. I loved this part of the challenge so much I continued it through the holidays. I can remember a critic of the idea sitting at the table, talking to me, and hearing all of the noise from the children in the background (3 boys under 5 years old = loud) snidely commenting, "I don't think your candle is working." The candle is not meant to change our situation, it is meant to remind us there is light in every situation. Gratitude first.

The second week of October: Play soft music everyday. Focus on peaceful words and maintaining peaceful relationships. This message is so important! The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies. ― J.R. Miller I know that most people find it horrible, but I start playing Christmas music during this week. I enjoy the "Classical Christmas" station on Pandora- the music is beautiful and uplifting! I am also a huge fan of Jenny Oaks Baker and adore all of her CDs.

The third week of October: Find spots in your home that are visually stressful and do something to change them. While you are working on cleaning up clutter, look at your spiritual clutter. This week is always so wonderful! I love it because while I am clearing up a stressful part of my home, I also work on something stressing my heart. What I find to be helpful is either completely redecorating that small part of the house, or completely "gutting" it and throwing away or donating a lot of the items. Then, when it is all cleaned, buying or making something beautiful to fill that spot helps remind me to keep it spotless. As far as the spiritual clutter goes, I adore taking this time to look up General Conference talks about some of the major concerns, questions, or stresses in my life. For example, reviewing a very recent talk by President Uchtdorf brought tears to my eyes when I read:

As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots, I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and insignificant. I wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by my Heavenly Father.

Years later I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now—I was never forgotten.

And I know something else: as an Apostle of our Master, Jesus Christ, I proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart—neither are you!

You are not forgotten.

Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.

Isn't that beautiful? I loved it. Yes, this is a perfect time to look at any spiritual clutter and clean it up!

The fourth week of October: With a candle burning, and music playing, have some tender moments with your family. Be sure to take extra time to really listen to the members of your family. So often it is easy to get caught up with all of the work we have to do! Carter's schoolwork has to be completed, Harrison's schoolwork needs attention, my own twelve credits at the University have demands, housework is never ending, and dinner always needs to be served. So many things on the to-do list can often overwhelm and take away from the things that matter- creating lasting and beautiful memories with our loved ones! By reminding ourselves to slow down, and focus on what really matters, we are more likely to take the time to play, laugh, and enjoy our families.

Halloween: Focus your attention to the kitchen, the heart of your home. Cook things with pleasing aromas. Remove all discontentment with your home or family, and give thanks to God for the home God has given you in which to create your own haven for your family. This was the best part of last year! My soul felt more calm and relaxed from already being reminded of my priorities, from saying so many prayers, being surrounded by beautiful uplifting music, and having cleaned out my clutter. This was the cherry on the top! Last year we cooked "Dinner in a Pumpkin" (we will be doing that again, this year!), lit extra candles, and spent time together. I had filled the house with warm scents, and when the children went trick-or-treating they returned to a beautiful and calm home. I cannot tell you how many people that came to our door would put their heads inside the house and say, "MMmm, it smells so good in here!" Children who were just trick-or-treating could feel the warmth of the home! Imagine how nice it would be to always live there!!!

I am thrilled to do this challenge again this year. Yes, we have had a few rough days this month, but overall, our stress level is pretty low and things are wonderful! Could they be better? Sure- but that isn't the point. The point is in MAKING our home a haven!!! Where there is room for improvement, we can improve!

Women Living Well, and Good Morning Girls!

While I chuckle at this picture, I have to say, I don't believe it is completely false. Faith, family, and friendship are things that I hold as my top priorities. That said, there is something to be said about the peaceful calmness that can come from always having a clean home. But I have said it before- being home is hard! In American culture today, housewives and stay at home mothers are seen as a thing of the past. I can remember feeling pretty depressed after my first few months returning home, and knowing I needed some Christian inspiration. While searching for uplifting pro-homemaking words of wisdom, I came across Women Living Well. This was such a breath of fresh air! Here was a woman who knew EXACTLY what I was going through, and who was being exactly the kind of woman I wanted to be! I started following right away, and every time that I need a boost I head to her site and soak up the Heavenly inspiration.

The Women Living Well site is run by a lady who is part of a group called Good Morning Girls. I have seen a few of their sessions come and go, always too shy or nervous to read along and participate with them. Well, that is a thing of the past! I printed out my materials, linked my blog to their site, and I am ready to read! I welcome anyone else who wants to read with me =)

Today our first scripture was taken from Psalm 127:1, and it reads

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

Today I wrote this scripture in my journal, wrote some observations I had about it, thought of applications to my life, and prayed about it. Already there is a difference in my heart! When I looked at my job- as a homemaker- and the labor I do in my home, I stopped and realized that nothing I do matters if I am not doing it with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in mind, and without Their help, I labor in vain. Knowing that the Lord's teachings built the home that I keep, made my labors much more important. I don't just iron shirts, I am working hard to help my husband look his best, so that he can focus on providing for us- just as the Lord would have him do. I don't just wipe noses- I am creating a nurturing and loving environment that enables our children to thrive and blossom into the amazing men they are to become. Our safety, and our salvation, come from Him and following His plan!

What a great scripture! I would love to hear any thoughts that anyone else would have about it =)